I felt like I needed to write this short kind of column-like article. At the moment I am pretty much drained from all of my energy due to the last couple of weeks. As you might have read before, I had a week off of work because It had been 5 months since I had some time off. But it turned out to be the most stressful week ever. I call it the shit-show-week because that is the only thing I can think off. Not to be super negative or anything, but it was a full on crappy week :’)
But in this post I wanted to put to words that I want to quit being such a control freak. To let down my guard and just go with the flow for once. There will always be things you can’t stop doing, such as my fulltime job, making sure all household chores are done and that there is food on the table every day. And that’s okay, that’s life.
Next to that I do feel pressure and stress for uploading new content to youtube, posting to my blog and instagram. This has been something I’ve loved doing for over 7,5 years now and I don’t want to stop either. But I do feel like posting every day is too much at the moment. It feels like I don’t have any time off of anything, and I am being lived instead of living for myself. Last night I kind of crashed. It was while doing laundry and I just couldn’t stop crying for no specific reason. I am tired, so damn tired and I feel like I need sleep for days.
From this day on, I want to do whatever I feel like doing, and not feeling pressured in being the perfect blogger, youtuber or instagrammer. I just want to be me, Femke. Change how I see and feel about things, and letting go of those tightly held strings which make me feel in control. Because simply said, it isn’t necessary to always be in control of everything.
What does this mean for this blog, youtube and so on? I will be posting whenever I feel like it. So nothing special will change because I don’t post every single day as it is. My blog and social media are supposed to be a fun and relaxing hobby of mine, not a second fulltime job. The first one is more than enough already, thanks :’)
For now I say goodbye control freak, hello peace and rest!